sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
