i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
