I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
