Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
