Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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