it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
