the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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