dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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