Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
