What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
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If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
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just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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