I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
