yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
