it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
