in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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