i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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