So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I wish you could order shots online.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
