So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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