He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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