I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
