you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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