Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
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Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
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using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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