just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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