i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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