i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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