Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
