I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize