You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize