I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
