awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
