you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't deserve a penis
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
