I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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