i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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