It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
