well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize