I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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