all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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