Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
