Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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