Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
