i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
