Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
