The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
