Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
