We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
