I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i think i just naturally attract stoners
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
