I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My pussy is not your playground.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
