paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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