just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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