How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
