Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
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Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
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Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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