She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
