Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
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I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
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I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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