wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
