Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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