I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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