great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Can you bring me the toilet please
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
