Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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