Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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