only you would photoshop your dick
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
