dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize
